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The ultimate sacrifice of love

One of the topics that attracted a lot of media attention in 2018 was the Spanish Congress agreeing to consider a bill drafted by the governing Socialist Party (PSOE) to make euthanasia a right that would be available through the public healthcare system in Spain. The proposal had a majority backing from left-wing Unidos Podemos, and from regional Catalan, Valencian and Basque parties. However, the main opposition, Party Popular (PP), opposed the bill, while Ciudadanos expressed its concerns. The debate was reignited in Spain after Madrileño Ángel Hernández was arrested for ending his wife’s life by administering a lethal dose of pentobarbital, a drug used in physician- assisted suicide in the Netherlands. Hernández spent a night in a Madrid police station, before appearing in court the following day. He was released on bail pending an inquiry. At the time, euthanasia was considered homicide in Spain, so the country’s criminal code punished co-operators in assisted suicide, albeit with considerable understanding. This is a subject that I feel quite strongly about, so when I was asked to interview another person who had been convicted of the same offence, and who wanted to tell his story, I jumped at the chance. This is, without doubt, one of the most heart-rending assignments I have had to date. In October 2018, Robert Van Damm was convicted for assisted suicide, and he had decided to tell his story to SUR in English after learning about the case of Ángel Hernández. Robert escaped a custodial sentence. He was given a six-month suspended sentence and a two-year probation order by the courts in Torremolinos. However, even though Robert had his liberty, he would never be totally free from the guilt he felt for the part he played in the death of his long-time girlfriend in 2014. One would hope never to be put in such a situation. Even though I believe someone who is terminally ill and with no hope of a quality of life - just a slow, agonising death - should have the right to terminate their life, it does beg the question of the effect it will have on those who participate. For Robert, the heartache and pain began soon after the suicide, as he would live with the secret for more than three years. I tried to imagine how this man must have felt on returning home after the suicide, having known he had played a crucial role in his lover’s death. He explained that he felt he had offered her the best solution, ‘the ultimate sacrifice of love’.Today, Robert is still trying to make some sense out of his life, although he feels that he made the correct decision to let Charlee die. He believes that he gave her what she wanted, but pointed out that never a day goes past without him seeing the vision of her being consumed by the dark water. I first met Robert in La Carihuela, where he was living in a camper van with his dog. I arrived at the interview feeling a little nervous to say the least, but I was immediately put at ease by his mild and welcoming nature. Even though I had tried to prepare myself for a difficult and extremely personal interview, I could never have imagined the effect his confessions would have. From the book, A cohort of creative bohemians and other interesting individuals.
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